Easter weekend, April 5th, 6th, and 7th Bob Jones University’s Living Gallery production is scheduled to take place.
Here’s the quote from the webpage:
You’re invited to attend the fifteenth annual Living Gallery. This year’s new drama, “Somewhere Forever,” follows the story of three lives touched by the Gospel: A man facing life as a widower at age 30. An abuse victim unable to find peace. A 20-something who wants to break away from his past. When conversations in a local coffee shop turn to matters of life and death, failure and hope, Tyler, Lizzie and Chris must decide what to do with the claims of Christ and His Resurrection. How will each respond to the fact that they will all live somewhere forever?
“An abuse victim unable to find peace?”
BJU, how about dealing with helping those who have been abused find justice? How about Bob Jones III live up to what he said in this chapel message Bob Jones III answered.
Sexual molestation–it will not be swept under the rug, it never has been. It’s not the way we operate. It’s always reported to the authorities…Nobody would be kept on the Board or on the faculty who did things like that, who swept things under the rug.
Please open your eyes and ears that God created. Look and listen to the 100′s of survivors pain with stories very similar to a anonymous survivor quoted at the end of this post. Just one who went to Jim Berg for help. Jim Berg who teaches others how to counsel those who have been abused in a video series. Churches buy this series.
Here’s how one church advertised Jim Bergs video course,
Bob Jones University offers the Biblical Counseling series to help pastors and Christian workers deal with the problems confronting Christians. Many feel unprepared and inadequate to deal with the problems of life that they face and that are faced by those to whom they minister. Consequently, the “cure of souls,” which used to be the domain of the pastor, has increasingly been delegated to “professional” counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. BJU’s Biblical Counseling series consists of six video courses designed to help prepare the Christian worker to handle such problems as anger, depression, addiction, immorality, child abuse, and many more.
I’ve watched this video. He spends a lot of time, talking about how many he has counseled. The homes they came from–missionary homes, pastors homes, christian school teachers homes, even deacons homes from his own church–but he never once teaches these people how to walk through someone with reporting abuse to law enforcement. Not ONE time, while teaching this series does Berg ever mention reporting. NOT ONCE.
Now for that one survivors statement. This is what Berg’s counseling did.
I just cannot keep silent. I am one of those “abuse victims” who “cannot find peace”, but the greatest part of my struggle is that when I went to BJU for help, they covered up the crime, shamed me and rewarded a sexual predator. I have now heard this story from so many others that it makes me physically ill. From all that I have seen and heard, BJU does not condemn rape. They do not condemn the rapists. They condemn only the victims. There are faculty members there who tell rape victims that it is their own fault, not the fault of the rapist. No matter the age of the victim or the circumstances, they state that it is solely due to the victim’s status as someone who is impure and their impurity “caused” the assault. The rapist bears no responsibility. He is to be forgiven. From BJU’s perspective, that means that the perpetrator should face no consequences – no legal consequences, no publicity, no shame. They can continue in their roles as teachers, pastors, etc. They are free to find more victims. The victims, on the other hand, have to endure BJU’s “counseling” which consists of forcing the victim to repeatedly recall every detail of the assault again and again while the “counselor” points out areas where the victim should have done something differently, in other words, they must carry the blame for any abuse endured. The victim is repeatedly shamed and humiliated. This is all done in God’s name, ensuring the victim will never see God as a possible source of hope, comfort, or refuge. As more and more find they aren’t alone and begin sharing their stories, it is shocking to find that our experiences seem almost common. How many are there of us? How many more were sexually assaulted because our abusers’ crimes were covered up? How many victims are there who know that someone could have helped, but refused to do so? Why is this?? BJU, if you read any of this, can you PLEASE explain why you didn’t help? HOW can you hear the pleas of victims begging for help and turn your back on them? How could you hear them beg you to help younger siblings and just ignore it? Is your heart that hard? that cold? that filled with hatred that you truly have no room for compassion? You have absolutely no right to put on a drama about abuse. You have turned your back on the abused. Your kindness has been reserved for the rapists and sex offenders. How can you now pretend that you care? You have dealt with us as if you enjoyed our shame.
Lest you assume this is written out of anger, bitterness or hatred, let me assure you that it is not. I do not hate you, but the hurt from the decisions you made is intense. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot comprehend why you turned your back on so many. I want it to end to spare future students from hurt, but I also want an explanation. Why? Is it disgust because we are no longer “pure”? Do you see us as damaged, defiled and worthless now so it just doesn’t matter how much further we are hurt?
It almost brought tears to my eyes
to read your appalling story! It would
have but it made me SO angry!
How dare the third do this self
serving show when and his ilk
are guilty of these crimes and/or
covering them up? It is truly
obscene! What you shared @
the farcical “counseling” service
is damnable! I wish all the BJU
victims physical and/or spiritual
emotional could band together to
expose to the world such despicable
behavior and save future victims!!
I’d sure join! It would be healing
and wonderful to know that our
traumas ultimately did some
beneficial purpose !
Is this the Crisis Counseling series that students can take? If it is, my daughter took it years ago and I watched it with her. My thoughts as a mother then was…..why wasn’t any of this reported. He went on to talk about the abuse of, mainly girls that he has to counsel and how their pastor father’s, deacons, christian teacher’s and even missionary fathers sexually abused them. In this video he says that the number of students he counsels is almost overwhelming. The counselor does not seem to say this is a SIN, and a SIN against your own flesh, when you do this to your daughter. All I can say, is it about time that Dr Berg starts giving these girls the respect they deserve, in reporting this abuse…they have done nothing to deserve this and it needs to be reported NOW!!!!
JMO
Please, BJU, listen. I’m not really sure what you can do to fix the past, but simply being truthful would be a good place to start. When Dr. Bob III made his statement, it was as if he spit in the faces of those of us who reported abuse to the school and were silenced, our abusers protected. You DO keep faculty who keep these things secret. I can’t imagine that you aren’t aware of that. All you have to do is search the internet for a few minutes and you will find story after story referencing the same faculty members that repeatedly did not report the crimes that students told them of, yet you keep them employed. You MUST know about them. Surely you can’t be unaware when the stories are so prevalent. Have you even questioned these faculty members? Why would you say that you wouldn’t keep them employed when you know that they still work there?
For your own good, it is not a good idea to put on plays about abuse or make references to abuse that indicate that you care. I don’t know what your intentions are, but it feels like you are mocking those of us who asked for help and found your response to add further hurt.
Anonymous,
My fear is that truth is not going to emerge from BJU. You are right, there have been many examples, and the evidence is solid.
I think that to this point they managed to have control of information by discrediting victims. That is shifting dramatically before our eyes. Social media is giving victims the power to come together and not be discounted. It is no less than evil that those who had the power to help did nothing and even made matters worse.
My instincts tell me that you were a victim twice. Both at the hands of someone, but also at the hands of BJU. I hope that you have reached out for help and support from somewhere that will provide something tangible instead of a lot of BJU-style pop psychology.
I know the admins on this page would help you if you reach out to them. Please, please do what you need to do to heal. There are plenty of people in the world who truly care.
Thank you, Maoleson. I am going to a real counselor now. Funny, how I was warned about how dangerous real counselors are and how they would try to “destroy my faith”. My faith isn’t being destroyed by the counselor. Perhaps it will even be restored. The biggest damage to my faith was the response of christian leaders to learning of my abuse. The actual abuse caused intense struggle but to be treated as completely worthless by those in leadership – pastors, BJU leadership – that has deeply affected my ability to trust God. It took away any hope that God perhaps cared. How can I ever completely trust him? Those who represent him show by their actions that he cares nothing for those who have experienced specific kinds of abuse. How can these things be reconciled? BJU says they are following the God of the Bible when they respond as they do, but they turn away from those who were abused. A couple of them don’t even try to hide their disgust. So, who God? Is he who BJU represents? Someone who sees victims of abuse as worthless and turns away from them? Jesus seems to always be reaching out to those who others turn away from. Right now, I don’t know what to think.
How I empathize with you! I am
presently seeing a psychiatrist to try
to understand how to heal from abuse
(emtional & spiritual) from horrible
wrongs done to me by BJU and several
IFB “churches”. The good news is
such real counselors can help you
heal and even more, help you to shed
irrational guilt feelings that I have
struggled with ever since I unfortunately
crossed paths with these pompous,
pharisetical hypocrites! What you and
I went through can help other victims
find their way back to a healthy mind.
I’d highly reccomend the book,
Crazy For God by Frank Schaeffer…
every page is invaluable in restoring
your peace, written by someone who
knows these wolves in sheep’s clothing
because he was once on the inside
power until he became totally disgusted
and left the whole sorry group.
I wish you well on your journey!
Anonymous,
I think you are also struggling with reconciling your own faith in light of very hypocritical systems that claim to represent God but don’t.
In my own past, I reached a point at wondering if God was there and if so, if He cared. I did not find any answers at BJU, only more questions. It was at an secular school that I found God for myself (or He found me) through an assignment in a philosophy class. I find that ironic that the epitome of what was considered and evil, corrupting environment was a much clearer path for truth.
I want to share an essay I wrote with you that really drives at the hypocrisy I see. Please read it through to the end. I sense that your thoughts might align closely to what I wrote. This might help you sort out some of your thoughts.
http://lgbt-bju.org/2012/03/24/a-straight-former-bju-student-speaks-out/
One final thought that I want you to really wrap your arms tightly around:
You are not damaged and you are not defiled. You are pure and filled with limitless worth.
Bravo! I went to BJU for 4 spiritually
painful years. As you and I know all
too well, it is a place that uses faith,
the Bible as hammers to beat the
students into non-thinking cogs,
ALL for the glory, not of God, but
for the glory of the Joneses! So
many students suffered permanent
psychological, spiritual damage. I
truly wonder how those arrogant
bullies can live with the damage
they know they have done.
I think it would be wonderful to
have a group of BJU survivors
share our struggles from the
Bob Jones’ spiritual scars.
Thank you. Your article is great! I wish I could believe your last statement, but it’s really hard to undo all I was taught. I just don’t know what to think anymore. I do appreciate all you are saying, though. Thank you so much! I keep trying to separate God from who BJU taught through their actions, but their message keeps echoing in my head. Every time I start to trust God, I remember their response and I just can’t. I’m too afraid that perhaps he sees me the way BJU sees those who were abused – defiled, filthy, worthless. Sometimes I feel like I get a glimpse of who he is and start to think that he might possibly care, but then I remember and it is all gone.
It’s hard for all of us to unlearn all of that garbage we were taught. It was based on manipulation to control us. It’s even harder to unlearn if it was part of us from our earliest memories. The world was molded into something that we believed because we had no choice or perspective but that mold was so far from the truth.
I think you are in a perfect place right now…questioning. I’m there too. Keep questioning. Keep seeking answers for yourself. In time, the lies you were taught will begin to unravel. As that happens, the echos of those messages will become softer and softer until they become silent. Replace them with truth. You have the power to identify it. Use your intuition and discernment. If something smells fishy, it’s probably because it’s rotten fish. Go with those instincts and put it out in the trash and get rid of it.
One of the most important things I was ever told by someone was that God is big enough to be questioned. Go for it. Be real with what you are feeling and thinking. Truth will get revealed to you. From what I have read, that process has already started for you.
Look again at that essay I wrote and think about the passage that says “by their fruits you will know them” and read I Cor 13 and Gal 5:22. Look for the overlap between those passages and apply it to most places that embrace fundamentalism. It will become apparent that something is very, very wrong with them, not with you.
I wish there was a way to do a BJU-ectomy on all of us. We could all benefit from getting that mentality purged from our minds. I want to reinforce this statement word for word and let it replace the lies. “You are not damaged and you are not defiled. You are pure and filled with limitless worth.”
Absolutely! Of course the Jones
cabal would instantly start their
rant about any mental health care
professional is one step above a
a witch doctor. I know these
people have helped me greatly to
deal IFB abuse and endorsed
physical, emotional abuse from
my parents. Add 4 years at BJU
and it has taken me years to
recover. This website has truly
been a blessing in my journey.
Today I actually left a message
on the BJ website and told
them just how dastardly I
think it is that the third has
the arrogance to preach that
the university is helping sexual
victims. That is just the epitome
of evil hypocrisy…cover up
abusers at BJ crimes and “help”
the victims by laying guilt trips on
them, not the perpetatrators!
That is reprehensible and needs
to be exposed to save future
victims! I for one would help
in that Christian cause!
I know exactly the spiritual pain,fear and
conflict you are in. BJU called me an
“evil influence,” told they would not
let me on campus, all because another
student lied @ me to cover her sleeping
with her preacher boyfriend during summer
break while I was visiting her home.
She told BJU that I had talked against
the university and I was labeled evil
without a second thought or question.
Then the IFB church my family attended
that was even worse than BJ who had
a preacher that was truly horrible!
After I moved from my parents, I
didn’t attend that church. Later at
my mother’s grave this fiend told
me I wasn’t a Christian just because
I no longer attended his churc!
It has taken me years of therapy to
heal, but it has been worth it to
regain my peace of mind. I truly
wish you God’s speed on your
journey.
Thank you, Mary! To you as well. I’m sorry for all you went through and hope that you now have real peace and healing!
I hope I helped you. It really is a
process. Just remember don’t
let them keep you in the prison
of guilt they had us all in at BJU.
One of my favorite sayings is,
“Living well is the best revenge
(and life). Guilt cuts off spiritual
health, the two feelings can’t
coexist. That’s why Christ truly
sent us free!
Celebrate life!
I am not a bit surprised by the evil
that Bob Jones III has done (for decades)
and is now an enabler and therefor a
participant, by way of hiding the
abuser’s crimes and persecuting the
victims. While at Bob Jones I personally
knew of the same situation in regards
to a boy from my church who was
molested by a teacher, and how the
administration shipped the victim
and never touched the offender!
Really makes me wonder how anyone
could exert their power in such a despicable
way…maybe there is more involved
than merely hiding criminals involved
in such actions…
You make very perceptive points on your
remarks! This whole rotten mess needs
to be exposed in the same way the
pedophile priests were finally prosecuted
(far, far too few) and the public made
aware of the wide spread, church
sanctioned crimes’
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