Monthly Archives: June 2011

“Tina’s Marine” Letter to ‘Ken Smith’

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Jesus Knows by Nancy Bicknell

Ken,

I’ve been trying to understand why you have taken this so personal. You’ve latched your teeth into Tina and I wish I knew why. You commented on the I Support Tina Anderson blog and yes, I read your comments even though we did not publish them. You said some hurtful things but I won’t take that personal. If you believe that Tina is lying, that is your choice. You may post that wherever someone will let you. I fought for our country so that you might have that freedom. I have contemplated for days if I should or would respond to you. Well, I decided that I would address a few things.

First, please read http://www.scribd.com/doc/44495191/Tina-Anderson-s-Statement-to-the-Concord-Police. This is a copy of what Tina wrote to the police when they called us on my birthday about a year and a half ago and asked her to give a statement of what happened. We stand by what she wrote and what she swore under oath that her statement to the police was truthful.

Second, there were a couple things that the newspapers got wrong. Where it came from, I don’t know but someone said that Ernie was a deacon. You’ll notice in the police report that Tina never called him a deacon and never said that in the couple of interviews that she gave. That issue was quickly addressed and corrected in future articles.

Third, you say Tina lied when she agreed with Elizabeth Vargas on 20/20 that she “lost” her job. You are correct that Tina was not fired from being a teacher. We never said that she had been fired. I understand how you and others could understand it that way. There was no willful intent to deceive. The word lost was used in the context of “no longer in the possession, care, or control of someone or something” (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/lost) but it was not “lost” in the sense that it was taken away.

On purpose, we did not go into the details of why Tina put in her resignation. There were a lot of things that happened that made us realize that we could not continue at this church and school. This is the church that I grew up in since I was five years old. This is the place where I attended the Christian academy from kindergarten to 12th grade. This is the college that I achieved one of my bachelor’s degrees and almost completed my master’s degree (I’d have to complete three more classes). This is where I devoted over 20 years of my life. We chose to walk away. Although it’s been brought out by others, I don’t bring up the names of these organizations because I don’t want to drag them through the mud but it’s part of our life and it’s kind of hard to hide where you’ve spent about half of your life. I have deep feelings for that place. When I say I’ve “lost” friends, it means that us and them have chosen to part ways. It means that people I’ve known all my life and all the people that Tina got to know while she was there, don’t fellowship with us. Will some of those friendships be renewed? I don’t know, maybe. I still hold out hope. There are a couple families that we do see occasionally but six people out of hundreds is not very many.

Fourth, you’re concerned about The Tina Anderson Foundation and where does the money go and how much does Tina and I receive. There might be other concerns but I’ll address the one I know about. Tina and I do not receive any money from the foundation. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, during Christmas time, we were given gas money and our hotel room paid so that we could take a week’s vacation to spend time with friends out of state. The foundation also gave us some Christmas gifts that my kids still enjoy playing with. The purpose of the foundation is stated on the website. If people want to donate to help others, that is great! If people are not comfortable with donating to this foundation, don’t. This was set up to try and make a difference in people’s lives and to give a chance for others to help. I trust and support the people and their families who run the foundation. In fact, I love them like family. All of them have meant so much to me, my wife and my kids.

Finally, Ken. I know this will not answer all your questions and you may dismiss what I have to say. That is fine. I pray that God’s peace come upon you and that you have joy in your life. God has greatly blessed me and I pray that God will also bless you also.

Sincerely,

Tim Anderson

(As posted on I support Tina Anderson blog http://isupporttinaanderson.blogspot.com/2011/06/letter-to-ken-smith.html?spref=fb)

Circle of Hope Girls Ranch: Place of Hope or Place of Fraud, Child Neglect and Abuse?

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Recently Chuck Travels was contacted by a mother who reports that her daughter was abused and neglected at Circle of Hope Girls Ranch located in Humansville, Missouri. She and others have alleged that the CEO Boyd Householder made fraudulent statements as well.  Circle of Hope Girls Ranch and Boarding Schools is a tax exempt/non-profit. Many have alleged that Boyd Householder uses Circle of Hope Girls Ranch’s tax exempt status to not only commit fraud against parents, but also abuses and neglects teenage girls. Mr. Householder is the self-described “CEO and Founder of Circle of Hope Girls Ranch. Husband, Father, Grandfather.”

Boyd Householder.

Householder also calls himself, ‘Gunslinger for God.’  Why one who is entrusted with teenage girls would go around calling himself a “Gunslinger for God’ is beyond comprehension.

Parent claims this is an actual picture of the "uniform" her daughter was forced to wear at Circle of Hope. This is what the parent was allegedly charged $300.00 for.

Chuck Travels wrote to Boyd Householder requesting information on Circle of Hope Girls Ranch on June 13, 2011.  As of this posting Chuck Travels has not received a response. Unfortunately, it appears that information that comes directly from Circle Of Hope Girls Ranch as to what the program is, is hard to obtain.  Two websites that were at one time used by the Householders for Circle of Hope Girls Ranch have been removed from the net. One has to wonder what exactly a place that would remove their own website has to hide?

Parent reports that this is a picture of the actual shoes her daughter was wearing when the mother arrived at COH unexpectedly. Claims are the girl wore these shoes in sub-zero weather and forced to shovel horse manure while wearing these same shoes.

Former “students” of Circle of Hope claim the Mr. Householder screams and spits in girls faces, girls were either force fed or denied food depending on the whim of the staff. If a girl vomited her face was shoved in her vomitus, and much more.  Girls claim that a few of them were made to preform push-ups in horse feces. Parents were charged thousands of dollars for tuition, and $300.00 for uniforms.

Parents were promised their daughters would get a quality education when in reality the girls actually received very little to no education.

It is alleged that an adult staff member of Circle of Hope Girls Ranch had sex with one of the minor girls while she was a student at Circle of Hope Girls Ranch.  It is further alleged that Boyd and his wife Stephanie Householder knew of this.  It is alleged the Householders told the girl not to say anything that they would take care of it and notify the parents.  It is alleged the parents were not notified. The staff member left and that was all that was done.  No police report can be found.

Mr. Householders belligerence is not only directed to the “troubled girls.”  He wrote the following discourteous letter to parents.  The letter is dated October 19, 2007.

Boyd Householder Parent Letter Oct 2007 Page 1

Boyd Household Parent Letter Page 2 October 2007

One can only imagine Mr. Householder’s surly attitude toward the students if he is willing to treat parents in such a boorish manner.

Update:   Circle of Hope Girls Ranch is registered with the Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3).  Circle of Hope Girls Ranch National Taxonomy of Exempt Entities (NTEE) Classification lists as a Residential Mental Health Treatment Facility.

  • What qualifications does Boyd or Stephanie Householder have to claim this?
  • There are no licensed social workers or licensed psychologists or psychiatrists on staff.
  • Are there any licensed nurses on staff?

In 2003 Boyd and Stephanie Householder recieved $7,100.00 as a disaster loan.

In addition to the monies Circle of Hope Girls Ranch receives for tuition, room and board and uniforms, Circle of Hope Girls Ranch is supported by numerous churches as part of the churches missionary giving program. New Beginnings Girls Academy, New Bethany, and Hephzibah House program are just three examples. Boyd Householder and Circle of Hope Girls Ranch are like similar facilities supported by churches.

Below is a non-exhaustive list of churches that support Circle of Hope Girls Academy:

Victory Baptist Church, Beaufort, SC

Grace Baptist Church, Crestline, Ohio

Calvary Baptist Church, Knob Noster, MO

Berean Baptist Church, Springfield, MO

Pastor Jeff Ables denied that the church supported Circle of Hope Girls Ranch.  However, the following excerpt is from the Springfield, MO NewsLeader:

“Baxter / for the News-LeaderBenefit ride

The Big 50 Bike Ride to benefit the Circle of Hope Girls Ranch and Boarding School will be May 21. The event is hosted by Berean Baptist Church, with about 35 churches participating.
Anyone who would like to donate to the girls home can send a check or money order to Berean Baptist, 507 E. Norton Road, Springfield, MO 65803. Note on the check it is for Circle of Hope.
For information, call Assistant Pastor Al Price at Berean Baptist, 833-1529.”

Boyd Householder posted this comment under Faith Promise Missions in the pastors blog for Berean Baptist Church:

“I agree! It seems like each Mission’s Conference that we have attended since becoming a member, has gotten better. Hearts are touched and changed, not only in the giving aspect but also in the spiritual aspect. The Missionaries presentations were awesome and Bro. McEntire “flung ‘er down.” Boyd Householder

Pastor Ables why did you publicly lie about not supporting Circle of Hope Girls Ranch/Boyd Householder?

In addition to the tuition, room, board and uniform fees and churches missionary giving, The Householders solicit funds through Charity Blossom and other Charity fundraising sites.

My Story – C.P. Traveler

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No, it isn’t anything nearly as tragic as Cathy’s or Tina’s.  And I never went as deep into the bowels of the beast as others did (only 3 semesters at the Bob total).  But even my short time there took concentrated work with a good counselor, an accountability group of men (a good one, unlike others), and a whole lot time to understand my worth in God’s eyes is tied to His point of view, not mine or anyone else’s.  So, here’s my story …

I was a pastor’s kid from the day I was born.  We happened to be in GARBC churches, so there wasn’t the rabid focus on “independent” many of you have known.  I was in parochial schools from fourth grade through high school.  I happen to be almost the youngest of a fairly large family, but not everybody was at home at the same time, so I sometimes feel like I don’t know my older siblings.  It wasn’t an abusive upbringing by any standards, though my father did struggle with his driven nature and anger.  Still, all-in-all, I don’t have any huge regrets or bad memories.

I still remember the conversation with my father when I told him I wanted to go to the Bob.  I was going to study accounting and, at the time, their reputation was good and the price was cheap.  There were other options available, but I assured him I could go there and keep my head down, avoiding whatever issue-of-the-day happened to be flying around as the latest thing to attack the foundations of fundamentalism.  Wise man that he was, he knew differently, but he supported my decision.

My freshman year was pretty much uneventful.  The core classes were a repeat of stuff I had done before, so I was able to slide by with B’s or better and settle into life there.  I had some great roommates, which helped immensely.  Life wasn’t terrible and I thought I could definitely handle things for another three years.  Then came my sophomore year.

I was in the room with a senior and two VERY rookie freshmen.  Add to that, my core classes were WAY more difficult and I had serious doubts about my chosen field.  I was in the dorm formerly known as Graves Hall and had the same gung-ho hall monitor as the semester before.  They guy was a piece of work to say the least.  He would regularly pick up my deck of Rook cards, flip them over, then place them down with a disappointed look (as if wishing they were those “nasty evil devil cards”).  He was one of the “direct converts” from just a few years ago on a mission.  He was only a sophomore himself, but was pushing thirty.  Still, like most of his kind there, his social skills were lacking and his autocratic style was right in line with what the Miller administration wanted.

Coming up on Christmas break, after seeing my first two D’s ever in my life, and feeling like the Jones was not a good place for me, I told him of my decision.  He, of course, knew God’s will for me in a direct manner and what I was exhibiting was sin rather than any other possible reason.  The talk did not go well and as I got up to leave, he told me that we could either continue right then with the dorm supervisor or in Miller’s office in the morning.  The dorm supervisor, cut from the exact same cloth, said many things, but the most memorable was, “We want to graduate the cream.”  That struck me hard as I thought about cream being only 4% of the milk.  I left for Christmas break, decided to come home at semester (my father did encourage me to finish the sophomore year, but again accepted my decision), and was informed should I choose to stay (or ever return) I would be on “spiritual probation” for at least a semester.

Other than in my strangest dreams and nightmares, I only went back when my wife and I had our honeymoon in Asheville.  At that, it was a brief visit and I chose to go visit my old choir and nothing much more.  I had gone home, spiritually bruised and attacked, with a serious case of poor self-image.  I was a failure to them and, no matter how I tried to shake it, to myself.

My story continues after I married in 1986 only to have my father die unexpectedly six months later.  My mother and younger brother moved away to live with my older brother and I was “alone” for the first time in my life.  Several years of struggles followed, always fighting that inner demon of self-doubt brought on by not finishing my degree and being able to “tough it out”.  We moved to Michigan shortly after we were married and fell into a church where we got our first true taste of the freedom God wants His children to have.  There were no lists of do’s and don’ts to follow … very little judgment at all from those on around us.  It was like breathing fresh air for the first time in a long time. 

As a result of being in that church, I came into fellowship with several men (all professionals and older than I) who saw my anger and self-doubt as something that was holding me back.  They challenged me to seek help (the church even paid for the first visit) and I began a series with a counselor who again showed me God’s love and how my anger and self-doubt inhibited it in my life and the lives of those I touched around me.  I began to come to terms with the loss of my father, the abuse at the Jones, and my self-doubt.  It took time (it is still taking time), but I started my journey toward a far more personal relationship with God, my wife, and my friends.

The road we travel is not an easy one.  As my late brother used to say (quoting from Ecclesiastes), “Who can make straight the path He has made crooked?”  As I ponder this now, I accept that God doesn’t owe me explanations.  He has promised to be with me and carry me, but He doesn’t always explain things so I can understand them.  He asks me to trust that He is good and that He has been there every step of the way.  Looking back almost thirty years, I know that’s the only way I could have survived.

That’s my story, friends.  It isn’t spectacular, but I hope it points you to God’s love and grace.  That’s what really matters anyway.

C.P. Traveler

 

“Tina’s Marine” Tim Anderson Responds to Ed Nelson

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Chuck Travels blogged about the following remark made by Dr. Ed Nelson concerning Pastor Chuck Phelps during a message Dr. Nelson preached at the Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International Annual Conference on June 14, 2011.

 ”The only way you get publicity is to have somebody hate you, as brother Chuck Phelps has had, and they come up with evil reports [about you,] then you get in the papers.  And by the way, thank God he (Chuck Phelps) stood right all the way through all of this and we ought to stand with him and encourage him, but I don’t suppose newspapers here in Indianapolis write a whole lot of articles about Crosspointe.”

Tim Anderson (Tina’s Marine) wrote this response on Stuff Fundies Like Forum.

I’ve been thinking about this all day. I was not expecting the FBFI to remove Chuck Phelps from leadership. They have a lot to lose if they admit mistakes were made and that a major contributor to fundamentalism made some serious errors in judgment, to put it mildly.

Darrell & Chuckles Travels have written about it very well and so I won’t go into all of that. I encourage you to read their posts.

I grew up being taught in an IFB church, Christian school, Christian college for over 30 years. I have two bachelor degrees from two different IFB colleges. I’m not tooting my own horn. I just want to point out that the IFB way of life is about all I knew about church and education.

Growing up, I always admired the leaders in the IFB. I’d like to believe that the pastor I grew up under, Pastor James Singleton, a major force in the IFB, if he were alive, he’d be addressing these things. I’d like to believe that he’s turning over in his grave right now with all that is going on in FBFI.

I grew up being taught that a person of character will admit when he/she has made a mistake, no matter the consequences. I was taught that a man of God should be above reproach. Over this past year, I’ve been having a hard time grasping the mentality of the leaders in the IFB. It’s not what I was taught. It now looks like, “Do what I say, not what I do.”

I don’t understand Dr. Ed Nelson and his comments. I would have understood it better if he had just not said anything but to say that Chuck Phelps has “stood right through all of this” is beyond comprehension. I guess you could say that if you’re looking at the situation through rose colored glasses or an IFB prism that distorts your perspective.

His comments make me realize that my wife and I made the right decision over a year ago.

Before Tina’s story was made public last May, we decided to leave our IFB church, which is part of the FBFI. We were never asked to leave. We didn’t make a fuss or try to cause any problems. We knew there would be enough of that when Tina’s story became public. We decided to leave quietly. She gave her letter of resignation to the IFB college where she taught voice and we walked out the door.

My sisters, although they don’t agree with us for leaving our church and are currently in their own IFB churches, still love and support us. Fortunately, blood is thicker than church affiliation. I know this is not always the case and I’m extremely thankful to God for that. My sister asked me if we’d ever go back to a Baptist church. Although I had not really thought about it, I told her “I doubt it.” After watching everything going on in IFB land, and after watching Tina finally being vindicated through the conviction of one of her rapists, and still no admittance of wrong from the leaders inside the FBFI, I would now answer my sister and say, “No, I’ll never be a member of another IFB church.” Would I visit? Yes. In fact, I have friends who are pastors of IFB churches. I’m going to visit one of them this Sunday. I have not seen him for about a year and so I’m looking forward to my visit.

Ed Nelson says that the only way to get publicity is to have somebody hate you. If hate is the only way for fundamental baptist to get publicity, I feel very sorry for them. If hate is the only way that you are getting publicity, then you need to examine what you are doing. What you saw was public outrage (hate) at the injustice that was done to a 15 year old. What you saw was hate that a man who claims to serve God kept spinning the truth to try and make himself not look so bad. The only people that worked on are the people who don’t want to face the fact that Chuck Phelps did wrong and has not been able to admit it.

What we, my wife and I, saw was hate from the people who claim to love God but were more concerned about their image than doing what was right. What we saw was hate from people who slandered, created false scenarios, assumed false motivations, and downright called Tina a liar and manipulator for finally standing up for herself. This is the kind of publicity that we would have chosen to avoid. In fact, publicity was one thing we never wanted. We never realized how big of a story this would turn out to be when the police asked Tina to tell them her story and what happened 14 years ago.

Hate was never our motivating factor, justice was. It was justice against Ernie Willis, the man who raped Tina twice when she was 15. We finally saw justice this past May.

Tina and I do not hate Chuck Phelps. We don’t hate Ernie Willis. We don’t hate the IFB or the FBFI or anyone else associated with this whole situation.

What are our feelings? We’d like to go back to living a quiet, peaceful life serving God, raising our kids, and growing old together. We’ll see what God has planned for us. I’m excited about our future and looking forward to the journey that God has set before us.

 

Was the FBFI Preachers Conference a Wolf’s Lair?

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Yesterday, June 21, 2011 was the opening day of this summers Independent Baptist Fellowship of North America (IBFNA) Family Conference.  Pastor Chuck Phelps who was scheduled to speak twice on the opening day of this family conference was pulled from the Speakers Schedule.

Not so at the FBFI Conference from the previous week.  Chuck Phelps spoke at the Fundamental Baptist Fellowship International conference held at Crosspointe Baptist Church, Indianapolis, Indiana. Chuck Phelps remains the Vice-Chairmen of the FBFI.   Dr. Ed Nelson said this about Pastor Phelps at the conference.  (Ed Nelson’s full message can be heard here.)

 ”The only way you get publicity is to have somebody hate you, as brother Chuck Phelps has had, and they come up with evil reports [about you,] then you get in the papers.  And by the way, thank God he (Chuck Phelps) stood right all the way through all of this and we ought to stand with him and encourage him, but I don’t suppose newspapers here in Indianapolis write a whole lot of articles about Crosspointe.”

Someone who is very close to Tina, pointed out to Chuckles that Ed Nelson has one major problem.  He is assuming hate. Tina does not hate Chuck Phelps.

Secondly, Phelps own testimony has conflicted with nearly everything he said on his website and to individuals.  He showed arrogance and belligerence as he testified on the stand.

Nelson is reading from the same old script that, “people came up with evil reports on Chuck Phelps.”

Really, Dr. Nelson?

Guess it wouldn’t change your mind that Phelps misrepresented the situation to his congregation, lied to the congregation and to the media and the public. Phelps set it up to ship a frightened teenager across state lines to live with strangers.  Phelps in his ‘wisdom’ decided the best place for a rape victim to be sent to live was with a family who only had teenage boys.  Phelps did this to keep her pregnancy secret. Phelps did not counsel Tina’s mother to stand with her daughter against the monster in their home, and then he assisted Tina’s mother in getting rid of the ‘problem’ once again by making sure Tina was sent to live with friends of his.  Thankfully, this ended up being a good home.  Tina has repeatedly expressed that this family was good to her, and her love for them.  However, it could have just as easily gone another direction for a child who had the adults in her life putting nothing but their own selfish welfare over a young girl who was raped.  Phelps made sure that the father paid for her plane ticket out of dodge.  In doing so, Phelps insured that this degenerate rapist could walk around free for the next 14 years.  Then when it finally became public, Phelps set up a website that attempted to tear apart the credibility of a rape victim.  It appears, much of the defense teams strategy came directly from that web site.  Then it only gets better.  During last minute, ‘hail Mary,’ legal maneuvering, David Gibbs, III worked with the defense team to keep Phelps ‘copious notes’ out of the trial.  Phelps and his attorney tried to claim ‘clergy-congregant privilege.’  Problem is Phelps had breached any privilege long ago when Tina was made to stand before that congregation that October night in 1997.  If any signs of life were left in the claim of ‘clergy-congrigant’ privilege that fact that Phelps could not keep his mouth shut when he talked to numerous people, including the media.  Any chance at resuscitation was futile when Phelps chose to set up that website.  Privacy in cases such as Tina’s belongs to the victim, not the perpetrator. Besides one can’t claim privacy with something you have placed on the world wide web for everyone to see.

“…thank God he (Chuck Phelps) stood right all the way through all of this…”

Really, Dr. Nelson?

Did you forget that Ernie Willis was convicted fourteen-years later on four counts of rape, after he plead guilty on a separate count of ‘statutory rape?’  Does it not make any difference to you that Tina Anderson could have had justice sooner if Phelps had done the right thing 14 years before?

There really should be no surprise here.  Dr. Nelson has a history of standing with pastors who abuse lambs in their flocks.  Even with pastors who were convicted of nearly beating a little lamb to death. Dr. Ed Nelson along with Dr. Bob Jones III,  endorsed, “The Embrace of Grace” written by convicted felon Caleb Thompson.  Caleb Thompson is still currently incarcerated in a Texas prison for holding down a eleven-year old Hispanic boy while his brother Joshua Thompson beat the boy over 100 times according to court documents.  What did the little boy do that would cause these two Independent Baptist Fundamentalist pastors to beat the boy with two tree branches until his kidneys failed?  The boy, whose first language was not English, quoted the wrong verse in a sword drill.  More documents here.

Dr. Nelson was Jocelyn Zichtermans pastor when she was a teenager.  If you watched the 20/20 interview.  Jocelyn recounted a story of being made to stand up in front of the congregation and apologize for her sin of a sexual relationship with her teenage boyfriend while her sexually abusive father and brothers looked on from the pew.

God has a dire warning to these Shepherds who abuse His flock.

“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!” says the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord God of Israel against the shepherds who feed My people: “You have scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for the evil of your doings.” says the Lord. —Jeremiah 23:1, 2 (NKJV)

When is it going to be that the FBFI begins to hold Phelps publicly responsible for what he has done?

Dim Bulb

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Leave it to our friends on Sharper Iron to come out with a overly simplistic theory on child sex offenders in fundamentalism.  Leave it up to one of the duller tools to take a portion of one paragraph from a FBI study out of context and make it the reason why sex offenders abuse children.

Regular dim bulb commenter, R. Pittman wrote the following on Sharper Iron:

“There are basically two types of abusers–the serial abuser and the opportunistic abuser. The serial abuse is one who actively pursues opportunities for abusing children. He or she may volunteer and seek out children’s ministries. Some serial abusers may abuse a hundred children before they are caught. However, background checks and policies typically frighten this type of abuser away from a ministry. He or she will usually leave and look for easier pickings.

The opportunistic abuser is one who is overcome by the opportunity and temptation of the moment. Many times, this may be a man or woman having marital problems or engaged in pornography. Background checks will not reveal or deter this type of abuser. Vigilant supervision, however, will prevent this type of abuser from fulfilling his or her lust because he or she is not willing to risk being caught and exposed. Abuse is a hidden sin that thrives in the darkness.”

While it is true that opportunistic or situational abusers differ in the number of victims they may violate. Thankfully, they’re are not as many predatory sex offenders like this guy. At the same time, it is not like they are just bumbling along one day on a business trip far from home.  Look across a hotel lobby, and stumble into an adultrous affair with a a consenting adult because he is having marital problems.  Sex offenders are not simply adulterous, they are criminals. The truth is, child sexual abuse is often a crime of opportunity. The abuser typically take advantage of situational opportunities to groom their victims over a long period of time so that they could build trust and create opportunities for abuse to take place.  While it is true that a sex offender may have marital problems, or engage in pornography that is not the reason the sex offender does what he does, it is a symptom.  Many opportunistic sex offenders actively seek out single mothers to get close to their minor children.  Many opportunistic sex offenders become coaches, teachers, youth pastors, Sunday school superintendents, etc. for the opportunity to be alone with children.  Many opportunistic sex offenders will befriend a child/teen, will encourage the child/teen to confide in the offender about their troubled home.  Then the sex offender will lavish the child/teen with lots of love and attention the child/teen never get’s from his/her parents.  This is the type of offender who will take a long time to “groom” the child/teen.

Fact is most sex offenders are opportunistic, rather than serial (or predatory).  Our criminal justice system processes more ‘opportunistic sex offenders’ per year than predatory. Both types seek out their victims in places where they feel safe to do so.

It is time to remove our heads from the sand, and admit this is a gigantic problem in Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches.  One quick Google search is enough to prove this.  This problem is not just out there, it is in here.

Mother Jones July/August 2011 “Escape From Missouri”

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Over the weekend, I read  Kathryn Joyce‘s article in Mother Jones Magazine entitled Escape From Missouri.  The article is very well researched, very well written about abusive Independent Fundamental Baptist teen boarding homes. Homes mentioned include Hephzibah House, Roloff’s homes, New Bethany, New Beginnings, Reclamation Ranch, Circle of Hope Girls Ranch, and others.  Joyce traces the history of these homes starting with Lester Roloff to the current schools/boarding homes operating today that use Roloff”s methods as a blueprint.

In my opinion it is totally worth the price of $12.00/year to subscribe online to read the article now at  http://motherjones.com/.Free version will be available sometime toward the end of July.  Once the article is available to be linked to on-line from Mother Jones there will be a more detailed post at that time.

As I understand it, the print edition of Mother Jones will be available on Newsstands beginning today or tomorrow.

Cathy’s Story of Kidnapping, Rape, Abuse and Cover-up~Part III

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This is the third part in the series, Cathy’s Story. Please read Part one and part two before continuing.

For a long time I actually felt that I left God Himself when I left the church. It was one of the most depressing times in my life. Few of my former church friends associated with me other than to tell me I was in sin. I felt further isolation, abuse, and was fearful of the world. A well known Christian leader questioned me personally and to others that were still in the church about my salvation. One tactic that was extremely difficult for me to deal with was the “shepherding” philosophy. Other IFB churches may refer to this as discipleship groups.  As practiced in many IFB churches, this philosophy requires every member to be personally accountable to another “more experienced” or more “spiritual” person. To this person, one must “be transparent”, revealing all personal thoughts, feelings, and future plans. I now understand that this personal information is not used to help the member, but to control the member.
A few years after leaving the IFB church that I had attended, I again became involved in a  Shepherding Group that at first seemed harmless. I still did not understand that a person must be very careful about churches that insist members be accountable to some leader for spiritual and personal growth, especially if the group leader begins to demand transparency and accountability of the member regarding personal and or spiritual issues and personal decisions. The most upsetting thing that happened as a result of my departure from that group took place when my former shepherding group leader, his wife, and several others members of my former church became involved in my current group. This particular group was disbanded by the leaders almost a year before this time due to lack of interest and attendance of group members. Furthermore, two people in this meeting were never involved with me the whole time I was in the church.
One of my then- current church pastors asked me to meet him on a Sunday afternoon. He claimed he wanted to find out how the church could be of assistance to me because he had heard of my then recent surgery and beginning treatments for Clear Cell Chondrosarcoma a rare bone cancer. I had just returned to Greenville after being in another state for over two months for surgery and treatment.  I was still very weak and sick. When I went to the church that afternoon, I found my former Shepherding group leader and his wife there waiting for me. Soon the small conference room was filled with 8 other people. One of the pastoral staff was there, but quickly added he did not know me, “which is probably a good thing.” Only two others were ever directly involved with me. The others were people I did not know personally. I knew they were members of the church. None of these people, other than the Shepherding Group Leader and his wife, ever went to my Shepherding Group. I, in no way expected to experience this very painful “intervention”, or confrontation , by the leadership, which I now refer to as a “surprise party” or “gang-up.” I was lured to this meeting under false pretenses. I have heard from other former members that sometimes such meetings are in the home of an elder or other leader and sometimes in the home of the “problem member” himself. My “intervention” consisted of a hostile and accusatory “interrogation session” that lasted for 3 hours. The group’s objective was to persuade me to confess of the “error of my ways” and of my “need to submit myself to the discipline of the church.” They went on to question the reality of my medical condition. I was told to recant my “slanderous” charges against a “spiritual leader”, obviously referring to Jim Berg. I learned from previous encounters that if I became outwardly hostile during such a ‘process’ things would become worse.  I did, however, refuse to acknowledge any wrongdoing on my part. I showed copies of my oncologist surgical report as well as the actual XRAY film which clearly showed the tumor that was recently removed.
Even after all of the evidence I provided, a man who sat directly across from me and who had glared at me the whole time finally said, “Tell me about your salvation experience.” I finally lost it a little and replied, “No matter what I say, no one here will believe that I am saved. You worry about your salvation. Let God and me worry about mine. You are not the Holy Spirit in my life!”
After that outburst, the pastoral staff member said, “Cathy, you go across the hall with the women and we (the pastor staff member, my ex-shepherding group leader and the man whom I did not know) will talk about what we are going to do to help you or how we are going to deal with you. If I had not been recovering from major cancer surgery, I would have certainly handled this differently.  Most likely my response would have been to leave right then and there. I was hurt and bewildered by what the assistant pastor said. However, I did go across the hall with the women. The Shepherding Group leader’s wife then asked me about a family member who was also recently diagnosed with cancer. I was exhausted, but angered by then. I said something to the effect of, “Why don’t you call and ask him yourself?” They talked at me, not to me, for a few minutes. The Shepherding Group leader’s wife closed by telling me, “We all love you, lady.” I did not make any friends when I said, “I can tell how much you love me by all the lies you have told and the knife that is sticking out of my back!” Then the ladies went around the room and prayed for me to “repent” and asked God to “convict me of my bitterness.”
I did not stay for the whole prayer session. I just got up and left the room. When I went out into the hallway, I saw through a small window in the door the men sitting and talking around a conference table. At this point, I was tearful and angry. I knew, at this point, there was nothing to lose. I opened the door and asked, “Are you all having a good gossip fest? Why is it if you were talking about me, I could not stay and defend myself?” The assistant pastor said, “You need to submit yourself to the discipline of the church.” I asked, “For what?” He said he would get in contact in a few days and waved his hand as if to dismiss me. I told him not to bother. As expected, I never heard from them but instead, soon found that my name had been removed from the membership rolls.
© 2011 Catherine Harris

Is God on My Side?

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When Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with sword in hand. Joshua went up to him and demanded, “Are you friend or foe?”

“Neither one,” he replied. “I am the commander of the Lord’s army.”

(Joshua 5:13-14, New Living Translation)

So, you’ve heard people (and I’m thinking of some Fundy preachers here) loudly exclaim, “God is on our side!”  If you look at what God said to Joshua, that couldn’t be much farther from the truth.  When asked if He was on their side, the Almighty simply said, “No.”  He wasn’t there to take sides; He was there to take over.

If I can claim God is on my side, I can probably justify a host of things you wouldn’t even want to begin to imagine.  And, in the end, that is exactly what happens out there.  You need look no further than the headlines for David Koresh a few years back or Jim Jones, now so long ago.

So, what’s the better thing to do?  If we take the example out of Joshua 5, you fall down in absolute reverence, realize that you are NOT in control any longer, and stick to the plan God gives you.  If you need more evidence of that plan, contrast the crumbled walls of Jericho with the next campaign in Ai … not a pretty site when you do it your way, thinking God has “got your back”.

I’d encourage all of us to strive for the humility that only comes with complete surrender.  If you aren’t seeing that genuine and big as life, I’d wager you are looking at somebody who thinks God takes sides and is supporting them.  Nothing could be further from the truth … God doesn’t take sides.  He comes in, wraps us up in His massive arms of love, and takes over.  Follow that plan and seemingly impenetrable walls fall down like a house of cards.  Go your own way, and … well, you get the picture.

Let’s live in true humility and experience God in His fullest.  I guarantee it is a better alternative.  He’s far bigger and grander than we were taught … and He’s ready to take over anytime we’re ready to admit we can’t do it.

In His Grace and Peace,

C.P. Traveler

Cathy’s Story of Kidnapping, Rape, Abuse and Cover-up~Part II

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This is the continues from Part 1 of Cathy’s Story.
I twice attended Bob Jones University (BJU), a fundamentalist Christian college in South Carolina. I went for the first time in the 1980′s. After leaving BJU the first time, I went to a community college and received my nursing degree.  For reasons I won’t go into here, I moved to South Carolina. I wanted to get my Bachelors of Science in Nursing. Unfortunately, many of my credits from BJU would not transfer to other colleges. However, if I went back to BJU as  town student, was promised those credits would allow me to obtain my BSN relatively quickly. I did not realize how intrusive BJU was in its student’s lives, even those  living off of the Greenville campus. During that time, I became severely depressed and experience extreme PTSD symptoms associated with the depression. I did not understand what was happening to me. But my most severe emotional problems were magnified when I went to Jim Berg for counseling while still a student at BJU.
In Jim Berg’s view, as I soon found out, people who had problems such as depression and PTSD were “un-spiritual” (his word, not mine). In the IFB world, depression is a sin. Taking medication for depression only covered sin. I plummeted into a even deeper depression. In June of 1996, during my last counseling appointment with Berg, he told me,
“I can’t help you, no one can help you, not even God can help you,”
because I was not making fast enough progress and still
“deep in the sin of depression.”
Will not begin to deny that I was having some serious issues.  Unfortunately, being discouraged from taking medications for these issues did not help. I am by no means proud of this, but I went home from this appointment and overdosed on medication. I realize that it was clearly a bad choice, and that was wrong. I was not thinking clearly, I was angry and in deep emotional pain. Of course, I was admitted to the hospital.
While I was in the hospital, I received a letter from Jim Berg stating,
“I hate to add more to your concerns, but this all comes from the consequences of your own actions, as a result you will not be allowed to continue as a student at BJU. I pray that God will break you of your sin of self-sufficiency and stubbornness and make you a usable vessel for Him.”
Fortunately, I received in the hospital the medical care and kind of counseling I needed from the beginning.  To add insult to injury, I was chastised by the IBF church affiliated with BJU (the same church Jim Berg attended at the time) because I was receiving counseling from a psychiatrist and licensed therapist.  In the view of the IFB church, secular therapy was wrong, and therefore sinful.  I was mortified to realize that Berg betrayed my confidential talks with him by “sharing” my situation with the pastoral staff, family members, and others in this church and at BJU as well.  In my opinion, Jim Berg made himself out to be “a great caring, godly, humble fellow” who tried at the best of his God-given ability to “lovingly” guide me to “trust God.” This betrayal of my confidence began a of a painful and difficult process of leaving the church and my circle of friends and family. When  I finally decided to leave my IBF church, I was especially afraid to leave because of intimidation, pressure, and threats of Divine Judgment. I was harassed by well-meaning church and family members. I was also pursued by not so well-meaning church leaders. Eventually, as former member, I was publicly chastised and humiliated before the church.  Unless it was to talk to me about the “errors of my ways,” members were discouraged from any association with me.  It seemed that all my friends and most of my support system went up as it were a poof of smoke when they were needed the most.
© 2011 Catherine Harris